Bitter Baltimoron

Being that the weekend before the last was the biggest weekend of the year in golf I decided I should have a post for the subject. Then I realized I know nothing about the sport beyond mini golfing, where I usually do very well before losing my temper and blow whatever lead I had. Golfers tell me mini golf and driving ranges aren’t exactly golf, so I don’t really know much about golf. What I do know, is iced tea…and lemonade, and when you put the two together you get, “The Arnold Palmer.”

I don’t really know the origin of this drink. it seems to be a pretty logical combination, and it was probably mixed for years before it was patented by Arnie and his Army. Today, Arizona Iced Tea sells these big jugs of Arnold Palmers. Which of course, I had to buy for Masters weekend. The HD grass and a sip of an Arnold Palmer makes for a good moment, but I’m definitely not a golf guy, so let’s move this discussion onward to other beverages.

When I think Baltimore soda, I remember Suburban Club. For those of you who aren’t from the area or are too young to remember, Suburban club was our equivalent to Detroit’s Faygo sodas, albeit on a much smaller level. There was the guy with the golf swing on the bottle, the two different flavors of ginger ale, the standard Coke knock-offs, but the holy grail of the company was the distinctly flavored Almond Smash- a drink that was just a memory to me for years before I saw one in a city convenience store. I have since seen them carried in some smaller grocery stores, and I always grab bottle when it’s near. The design has change, I think they abandoned the whole suburban country club design once everyone moved to the suburbs, and now they are just called Suburban and have some strange fiesta design. Maybe marketing told them Hispanics would be the only people willing to try an almond-flavored soda, I am no genius at selling anything, but I’d say their new design is too generic for anyone to take seriously who isn’t already aware that the product is not a Wal-Mart, or store brand soda.

The taste is great, and it’s cheaper than a Jones soda with just as unique a flavor, the main difference being that you could drink Almond Smash every week and not get sick of it. As this article moves further into Baltimore beverage I would like to introduce my own invention…The David Lee Froth.

I have no clue how I came up with this drink, but it probably was the gods smiling on me for spinning so much Van Halen on my record player. To tie in Baltimore sports, I’ll be using a Rick Dempsey novelty glass.

First, the ingredients. You will need Hawaiian Punch, Sprite, grape soda, orange soda and iced tea mix. The brands don’t matter, this is just what was in the house. I will start by mixing the Sprite and Hawaiian Punch. This is a tasty drink in itself, and has sometimes been called a “Diver Down.”

Next add the orange and grape sodas. A mix of just the orange and grape drinks gives you a murky brownish soda, that some people might call “Eddie’s Brown Sound.”

Now for the important part, put one scoop of iced tea mix into this unique, fruity drink and watch it explode.

This drink you’ll see is quite tasty, and even though it doesn’t require alcohol, feel free to dump some vodka in it.